DEMENTED

   As you sit in your little room all by yourself you realize that there is something out

there waiting on you to mess up. As your mind races to figure out what it is that is out

to get you, you find out your not alone. There are some people that feel the way that

you do, for instance I have a two friends that feel that way.

  Angie feels that there is always someone waiting outside her window looking in, waiting

to see what she will do or go. She trembles inside and the thought of it plagues her mind.

She hasn't been outside in two years, she depends on everyone to bring her food and the

necessities to live her life.

  Heather thinks that everyone is trying to hear her thoughts, she never talks to anyone.

She doesn't even talk to me, but she doesn't have to for me to know what she wants or

what she is thinking. I've known her for along time. Her body language tells a story of how

hard her life has been, the scars and burn marks all over her body is a forever a reminder.

  I feel sorry for my friends, I'm all they really have. But as our days pass by as it did the

day before, it is harder for me to see them.

  Everyone asks about them now, but I have no idea how they are, like they never existed. As

I leave this place I'm reminded that everyone has it hard one way or another. I'm proud to say

that I have recovered from schizophrenia and my scars will heal.

fearful

                    Have you every really thought of what lies waiting after death?
  

  There are only three options as i see it,..Heaven...Hell...or NOTHING. That is a really scary thought.
Not knowing is some of peoples fears, me I'm not scared of that at all. I'm very comfortable in my beliefs! Granted not everyone thinks alike or has the same beliefs. That's cool I don't push my beliefs on anyone. 
  In my opinion we were created, not evolved from a single organism.There is way to much to take in on that thought. Really people..our D.N.A is closest to slugs!? We evolved from monkeys.. if that's the case why are there still monkeys?
  I'd rather think that is something out there other than the BIG NOTHING! Its more comforting to think that you will see all your loved ones that have passed.
  I'm a big believer in the big J.C. There are true miracles that have happened in the world. How are your prayers  answered in some way, by a mere coincident? That's what alot would classify that to.
  In my opinion people are scared of the Rapture! Well who wouldn't be really..the four horseman coming, us being held accountable for our sins. That might be another reason people don't want to even take that into account because in there minds who would forgive their sins?
  On that note Jesus is a forgiving but just. Maybe not all our sins can be forgiven, but you know what, I believe that if you are right with the lord and have asked for forgiveness, that maybe just maybe I can have a place up in Heaven.

The Black Nothing

  In every aspect of life there is sadness waiting to grab ahold of you. The feeling of loneliness and grief are hard to run from. No matter how perfect your life is, it is waiting in the wings to suck every happy thought from you like a thief in the knight.
  As you sit there all alone the numbness takes over, the voices in your head start to chatter, not really being able to understand the words, you can only hear whispers.
  You feel as if you are riding a crazy train and there is noway off, and every stop along the way is dragging you deeper into the abis.
  You start to withdraw from everything and everyone, it is like it feeds on your sorrow and pain. Days get longer and the only thing you want to do is sleep and drift away to your one perfect little word where nothing and no one can touch you.
  The Black Nothing is feeding, and your the main course.